My hands are covered in cuts and glue.

This is Paul Muller - reporting for Solent News.

BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH.

Stumbled across this site a few weeks back and literally shit myself laughing.

I hope you will do the same.

http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/

What I actually intend to do.

Right. Basically, I'm just going to use this blog as an outlet for my battered sense of creativity. I used to spend hours writing film scripts and songs and short stories and all sorts of rubbish, but three years of university killed that. So, I'm going to endeavour to start again, and anything I come up with will be posted here. Hopefully I'll get some album reviews up soon, as I've got a few I want to write about. Stay tuned.

A message from the future...

Haha, this is so surreal. I went to a guest lecture the other day and the nice lady speaker from NME said the first thing we should do to get noticed is publish a blog.

"Blog." I thought. "That's a good idea, I'm surprised I haven't done it before."

Oh wait, I had. Two years ago.

Several password changes later I stumbled across it, languishing forgotten in a dusty corner of the internet like an abandoned tamagotchi.

So, just for the record, here's what's happened to me in the last 790 or so days.

* Jemma is still miraculously with me, studying slightly inconveniently in Falmouth, a pleasant and extremely cheap seven hour train journey from Southampton.

* I'm in my third year at Solent University and have about six weeks left, so have now decided that after three years of alcohol fuelled inactivity and ennui, it's probably about time I started doing some work.

* I'm making a documentary on the fight for Cornish independence.

* I've lived in two houses, in varying degrees of squalor, and am currently holed up in a dodgy backstreet 2 up 2 down with housemates Jack and Sam, fabulously exuberant and reclusive respectively. Several doors down is a disused brothel and my bedroom window provides glorious views of the adjacent psychiatric ward.

* I bought a keyboard with my student loan and spent the rest on double vodka and cokes.

* I co-present a news and current affairs show called Newsweek on Sin Radio.

Listen to it here: www.sinradio.co.uk

* I managed to find a good job at Southampton Guildhall serving overpriced gin and tonics to lonely middle aged women.

* In several months I will most probably be homeless and jobless, walking the streets with a tattered BA Hons qualification and a can of Tennents Special Brew, offering handjobs in return for a job in hospital radio.

So that's about it I guess. I'm going to keep updating this, hopefully posting some music reviews, witty analysis of the day's news and alcohol induced ramblings and maybe some bad poetry if you're lucky.

Stay tuned.